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Re: 1.1 | The Girl in the White Box
Hello Stevie! I'm going to try something new and write what I'm thinking as I read. Here goes! The crackling static filled the room, waking the girl from a deep ...
Jul 7, 2011 -
Re: Ode to a Bat
I really like this! It's so simple and yet you use big words, which even it out. Your rhyming patterns (is that the right term?) are excellent and the flow ...
Jul 6, 2011 -
Re: Mirrors
Hello Bhayden! First of all I must say this is amazing. The concept and moral to this is. . . wow. I love how you made it fantasy-like and imaginative. ...
Jul 6, 2011 -
Re: Sparks; prologue
Wow! You had me hooked from the first sentence. Excellent attention-grabber. Now I'm curious and dying to know what happened and why. There's nothing to nit-pick, nor is there anything ...
Jul 6, 2011 -
Re: You died, tonight.
Oh wow, that was genius! I thought it was another whiner about relationships, but then at the end. . . Well, there's no need to say why it's so funny. ...
Jan 11, 2011 -
Re: Fighters Promise, Ch. 4
Hey, I'm back again! Well at least things are finally moving along. Blade seems like a really cool character. I can't wait to see what happens later on into the ...
Oct 10, 2010 -
Re: Black sheep
Hello bibi, I'm going to attempt and review this for you. :) Through a street with silver lights, I walk , Down this path, I walk . You use walk ...
Oct 10, 2010 -
Re: - So Gorgeous, So Precious.
Um, okay. This is all slashed out. Did you hit the button by accident or what? Nevertheless, I'm no wimp. I'll review this for ya. :) Ugh, it's a huge ...
Oct 10, 2010 -
Re: Taboo [12]
Hello Pink, I agree with you that this chapter isn't as good as the others. It seems a little forced. A lot of the sentences could be rephrased to make ...
Oct 9, 2010 -
Re: Mouthbreather
The pace of this is quite fast, and yet it tells the story really well. It has a feel of urgency to it, which suits it by the way. It's ...
Oct 8, 2010 -
Re: On the Clothesline
This is very beautiful. The words you used set the scene wonderfully. I could easily picture the images as I read. The ending was sudden, but I liked it. It ...
Oct 7, 2010 -
Re: Fighters Promise, Ch 3
Hi, It's me, here to review your story. Well, there aren't any nitpicks for me to do. So I'll just say that this is well-written. Everything that happens you describe ...
Oct 7, 2010 -
Re: Tricked Chapter 2
Ugh, I don't like vampires. Yet I'm fascinated by this. Your writing is like a trap. I can't stop reading it (that's a compliment by the way). Maybe it's because ...
Oct 6, 2010 -
Re: Hatched Chapter One
Hello, I spotted a few spelling errors and typos: I heard a knock at my door and I opened it even though it was aftr curfew. Forgot the "E" in ...
Oct 6, 2010 -
Re: Decided to Break It~2
Hello, I don't get why you don't have more reviews. This story is quite interesting :) Nitpick time! Michael Turner, father of teenager Maxine Turner, has been found, dead, in ...
Oct 6, 2010
